R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
