I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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