I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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