Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
