We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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