it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible idea I love it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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