Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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