What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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