Betty ford says i'm here all night
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
