i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
