Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize