I am puke
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
