i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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