My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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