Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
