how can u be prego again
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
