So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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