no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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