let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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