I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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