I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
