1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
