Porn is love you can see.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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