im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
