if you like me you must not know who I am
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
