Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
