Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize