Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
