summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
