just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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