I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
