i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
