Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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