That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
