I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Randomize