In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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