im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
