dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
