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• (305): View more from Florida

  If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  True on all accounts.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...

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