Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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  (514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y
  Replies (42) Good night (14732) Bad night (1173)
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  (518): View more from New York

  woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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  (518): woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so http://tfl.nu/1jbm
  Replies (6) Good night (7069) Bad night (688)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...

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  (414): you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened... http://tfl.nu/w2pr
  Replies (22) Good night (6926) Bad night (811)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

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  (717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/nwgl
  Replies (10) Good night (5152) Bad night (773)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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  (401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (8788) Bad night (1338)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.

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  (816): I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding. http://tfl.nu/1j8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1446) Bad night (4982)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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  (757): Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode? http://tfl.nu/1peu
  Replies (15) Good night (5234) Bad night (1369)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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  (613): I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked. http://tfl.nu/z7yx
  Replies (11) Good night (7210) Bad night (1043)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.

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  (515): The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle. http://tfl.nu/73sv
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (2255)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

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  (971): I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/l4im
  Replies (12) Good night (4641) Bad night (1101)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (2199) Bad night (574)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.

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  (512): I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW. http://tfl.nu/y0o7
  Replies (4) Good night (1451) Bad night (524)
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  (657): View more from California

  He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"

  (818): View more from California

  this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!

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  (657): He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up" (818): this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!! http://tfl.nu/b19c
  Replies (13) Good night (3452) Bad night (758)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.

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  (310): I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool. http://tfl.nu/mhjn
  Replies (3) Good night (1139) Bad night (574)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there

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  (215): I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there http://tfl.nu/ipty
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (249)

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