I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
