Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

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  (510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x
  Replies (36) Good night (4428) Bad night (740)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left

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  (201): yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left http://tfl.nu/1ikl
  Replies (7) Good night (626) Bad night (3669)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink

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  (775): Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink http://tfl.nu/sedp
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (2015)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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  (307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi
  Replies (24) Good night (5504) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

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  (403): You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her" http://tfl.nu/oma3
  Replies (16) Good night (4919) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.

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  (214): i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night. http://tfl.nu/pbft
  Replies (12) Good night (1052) Bad night (7865)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door

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  (309): Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door http://tfl.nu/czgy
  Replies (8) Good night (1281) Bad night (3256)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room

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  (502): Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room http://tfl.nu/pqte
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (753)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (392) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.

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  (205): My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life. http://tfl.nu/opyw
  Replies (3) Good night (995) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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  (310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k
  Replies (10) Good night (459) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.

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  (479): The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it. http://tfl.nu/6rje
  Replies (7) Good night (1178) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You are both horrible and amazing

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  (602): I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep. (480): You are both horrible and amazing http://tfl.nu/a2mg
  Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go

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  (954): When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go http://tfl.nu/7tcn
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead

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  (405): Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead http://tfl.nu/0hvl
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (221)

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