I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Still dying that you shit outside
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
