the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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