The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize