Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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