so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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