I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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