margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize