I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
