giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
