well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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