Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
