You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize