She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
