Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
