I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
