she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize