i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
