This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
