eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
