He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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