problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You need Xanax blowdarts
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Let's get the cat blown out
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
