5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
