If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
